13 Tonight's Bed Time Movie- 2012- Doomsday

Why wait for John Cusack, Amanda Peet and Danny Glover to save the world in theaters when I can jump on the apocalyptic bandwagon and watch the pre-knockoff "2012: Doomsday" now? According to IMDB, it's "A Modern Christian Epic in the Tradition of The Omega Code and Left Behind."

From the producer of "Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls," "AVH: Alien vs. Hunter" and "30,000 Leagues Under the Sea." I wonder if this would be more in the tradition of Roger Corman.




13 Tonight's Bed Time Movie- 2012- Doomsday




Aftermath: "Hercules"

Movie:

"Hercules (Le fatiche di Ercole)" (1958); Pietro Francisci, dir

Staring:

Steve Reeves, Steeve Reeves' huge pectoral muscles, large cast of voice-overs

Nodded Off/Nyquil kicked in around:

About 45 minutes into Hercules, I felt my eyelids had been pummeled to death by the Fates.

Observation/Lifesson:

Hercules was a hero and teacher to all that was brave and noble in the already-ruined Ancient Greece. Also, he's quite the pick-up artist – Ex: While sharing what I assume to be roasted Elephant shank with Iole, he quips: "I'll begin where your lips ended." Teach me, Herc.




Aftermath: "Hercules"




Tonight's Bed Time Movie: "Le fatiche di Ercole"

In other words, Steve Reeves in the 1958 pecsploitation classic, "Hercules." Live blogging to commence after I finish this episode of The Simpsons.

Tagline, according to IMDB: See the seductive Amazons lure men to voluptuous revels and violent deaths! SEE the heroic Hercules rip down the Age of Orgy's lavish palace of lustful pleasure! SEE the Mightiest of Men fight the Mightiest of Beasts, the killer Cretan Bull! SEE Hercules fight off the savage love-starved Amazon women! SEE the seductive Amazons lure men to voluptuous revels and violent deaths! SEE the powerful Hercules crush the savage ape-men who guard the shrine of the Golden Fleece!




Tonight's Bed Time Movie: "Le fatiche di Ercole"




Convicted child rapist arrested in Switzerland

Noted and revered director Roman Polanski, 76, was arrested in Switzerland Saturday on an extradition warrant 30 years after fleeing the U.S.

The Oscar-winning director of "The Piano" and "Rosemary's Baby," among others, has lived in Europe as a fugitive. Friends and allies of Polanski have been dismayed at the arrest.

Polanski has had a difficult three decades, what with having to juggle homes in both France and Switzerland. He even had to deliver his Oscar acceptance speech via satellite. If that's not punishment for drugging and horribly raping a 13-year-old girl, than what is?

Read the story from Reuters here.




Convicted child rapist arrested in Switzerland




Aftermath: "300"

Movie:

"300" (2006); Zack Snyder, dir

Staring:

Gerard Butler, Lena Headey and That Guy from Lord of the Rings as "The Balladeer"

Nodded off/Nyquil kicked in around:

After 1 hour and 10 minutes, my taste for fast/slow motion optic effects and poorly rendered digital killer dogs abruptly stopped.

Observation/Life Lesson:

In 480 BC in Thermopylae, Greece, 300 badly outnumbered Spartans led by King Leonidas took on over 1,000 invading Persians. Their sacrifice for their homeland is probably best captured in the words of Michel de Motaigne: " … the fairest sister-victories which the Sun has ever seen, yet they would never dare to compare their combined glory with the glorious defeat of King Leonidas and his men. …"

Or, as Warner Bros put it: "Feel the wrath in IMAX!"




Aftermath: "300"




Tonight's Bed Time Movie: 300 – Special Riff Trax edition

Everywhere you look, it seems like there's bad news. The economy's in the stinker, members of Congress continue to go insane at a disturbing rate and no amount of tea bagging has sated the ferocious, perverted appetite of Glenn Beck. Things seem so bleak that not even New Yorkers are willing to open their hearts and homes to fascist middle eastern dictators.

So I need a pick-me-up, a little motivation. And what gets you pumped up more than anything? No, not horse tranquilizers! Zack Snyder's 300, that's what!

If I'm going to subject myself to this film before bed, it's going to be as God intended – with some cheap lemoncillo and the audio commentary of Riff Trax.

Set massive pectorals to stun. Here comes 300 of the most oiled Spartans you've ever seen.




Tonight's Bed Time Movie: 300 – Special Riff Trax edition




Semi Pro and the ascension of ZMF

Taking a break from watching movies before bed in order to give the synapses a time to re-link – I'm afraid BPBD may have shorted some circuits. I tried to realign my neuro-charges with Will Ferrell's Semi Pro last night, and was a bit disappointed. When compared to other films such as "Anchorman," "Stranger Than Fiction" and even "Step Brother," "Semi Pro" had the effect of some throwing a damp, slightly chilled washcloth on my face. Not shocking, but not altogether pleasant, either.

In other news …

If you're a fan of Jason Statham shooting things and foul-mouthed all-caps commentators on pop culture blogs, you might want to check out the downloadable audio commentary for Crank 2 by Zodiac MF, presented by the AV Club. Think of it as a profanity-laced version of Riff Trax. At best, it looks like it could be its own cultural phenomenon. And at its worse, it's probably still better than the commentary for The Matrix: Revolutions.




Semi Pro and the ascension of ZMF