Movie:
"Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000" (2000); Roger Christian, dir.
Genre:
Science Fictionish
Staring:
A Creepier-Than-Usual John Travolta; Forrest Whitaker Who Should Have Known Better; and Barry Pepper as Jonnie Goodboy Tyler
Nodded Off/Nyquil Kicked In Around:
53 minutes, 52 seconds
Observation/Life Lesson:
It is as bad as you've heard. As a matter of fact, I'd say it's worse. Granted, I made it slightly less than half-way through, but that was long enough, thank you very much.
Battlefield Earth did not age particularly well. For all the money and star-power allegedly pumped into it, the film looks as though it was a made-for-cable thing – reminiscent of such Roger Corman-esque flicks like "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus" or "Rodentz."
John Travolta as the film's lead Psychlo – a race of Reggae-loving super aliens – is perhaps the films' biggest disappointment. He proved resilient in "Pulp Fiction." And he chewed the holy living hell out of any scenery in reach in "Broken Arrow," a film that was delightfully bad in its own right. So why did he seem to choke on his own dreadlocks in "Battlefield Earth"? Why did his acting seem less Hollywood and more reminiscent of your local Catholic Church's annual passion play? Was it the horrible dialogue, which one can only assume came from an even worse script?
Well, yeah, probably.
I know the Church of Scientology makes a lot of people nervous. But if this sort of film (based on a novel by the church's founder L. Ron "Ronco" Hubbard) is all that it takes to keep them entertained, then I think we can all relax.
Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for me to be audited.
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